What should you include in your parenting plan?

WHAT TO INCLUDE IN YOUR PARENTING PLAN

PARENTING RESPONSIBILITIES:

• Basic Time Share Schedule:

• Pick Up/Drop off – times and locations

• Responsibilities when child is in residential parents* care (*Residential parent is the parent with whom the child(ren) is spending the night.)

• Telephone contact between child(ren) and non-residential parent: frequency, duration, times for calls, privacy?

• How will you deal with changes in the regular schedule?

• Day to day decisions

• Holidays and School Vacations (excluding Summer)

• Consider how holidays have been celebrated historically in your family

• What traditions can be kept in place?

• What new traditions would you like to create together or separately?

• What will be most important to your child(ren) regarding holidays?

• Is it most important to divide holidays and school vacations equally or to ensure that you are with your children on the holidays that hold the most significance for you?

• How do you want to handle three-day weekends (holidays and school in-service days)?

• Summer Vacation:

• How do you want to plan together for summer activities.  When will you meet to discuss, who is responsible for doing research to find activities, etc.

• Will you keep the regular time-share schedule, or modify it for the summer.

• If both parents are working, how will you manage getting the child(ren) to and from activities.

• How much contiguous time do you each want to have with the child(ren)? Should there be a limit on the amount of time one parent can travel with the children?

• How will you handle communication and planning about the summer plans?

• Extracurricular and Social Activities:

• How will you decide what activities you child(ren) will be involved in?

• How do you each want to participate in your child’s activities?

• How will you handle transportation?

• How will you manage birthday parties?

• Will the regular schedule be altered on the birthday of the child(ren) or  parents, or Mother’s/Father’s Day?

• Child Care:

• What childcare arrangements do you anticipate you will need?

• Will you share childcare arrangements?

• How will you select childcare?

• If the residential parent is unable to be with the child(ren) on his or her time, do you want to agree that the other parent will be offered first opportunity to provide child care, or will you each independently arrange for child care arrangements?

• Child/ren’s Budget

• What are the child/ren’s expenses?

• How will you pay for these expenses?

• How will you determine the tax exemption each year?

• Medical Insurance: Which parent will be providing the medical insurance

coverage?

• How will the insurance premium be divided?

• How will you divide the out-of-pocket portion not covered by the insurance

Company?

• How will you divide non-emergency, uncovered medical expenses?

• Does that consent need to be in writing?

*  If one parent pays more than their share of an expense, how soon should it be reimbursed?

• Do you want to exchange proof of payments before reimbursements are

made?

• Contact with Significant Others:

• How do you think your child(ren) will react to a new person in your life?

• How do you define significant relationship?

• How will you communicate with each other about new relationships?

• Do you have any worries about how new relationships may impact your child(ren)?  If yes, what are your concerns?

• Education:

• How will you make decisions about where your child attends school?

• How will you coordinate/monitor your child’s schoolwork?

• How do you each want to be involved in your child’s education/school?

• What are your thoughts about your child’s educational needs?

• If you have differing ideas about education, how will you resolve your differences?

• Health Care Issues:

• How do you anticipate making major medical decisions concerning your child(ren)?  Have you generally agreed in the past?

• How do you want to decide about which medical professionals will work with your child?

• How will you handle routine medical appointments?

• How is the best way for both parents to be informed about the medical appointments or medical care provided to your child(ren).

• How do you want to handle emergency situations.

• Mental Health Care Issues:

• How do you want to make decisions regarding mental health care?

• Religion and Cultural Heritage

• Are there special rites/cultural heritage traditions you would like to pass on to your child(ren)?

• How will you make decisions related to your child’s involvement with religious activities or cultural events?

• Travel Issues:

• Who will keep your child’s passport?

• How will you communicate and what information will you share regarding travel plans, with the child(ren) and without the child(ren).

CHANGING NEEDS OF THE CHILD(REN)

• Ongoing Communication:

• Regular, scheduled meetings?

• Periodic review of parenting plan?

• Best way to communicate: in person, telephone, e-mail

PREMARITAL PROCESS

Prenup Process Options: Benefits and Drawbacks

1. Mediation

Benefits:

• Neutral Third Party: A mediator helps both parties understand California law and guides them through the risks and benefits of various terms.

• Collaborative Environment: The mediation setting allows both parties to discuss their concerns and preferences in the same room, fostering open communication.

• Cost-Effective: Generally, mediation can be less expensive than other legal processes since both parties share the cost of one mediator.

• Educational: Provides a lot of legal information and helps parties make informed decisions.

Drawbacks:

• Non-Advocative: The mediator does not advocate for either party, which might be challenging if one party feels less confident or knowledgeable.

• Potential for Imbalance: If there's a significant power imbalance between the parties, one may dominate the discussions.

2. Collaborative Model

Benefits:

• Team Approach: Each party has their own attorney trained in collaborative law, ensuring both parties' interests are represented.

• Open Communication: All discussions happen in joint meetings, promoting transparency and mutual understanding.

• Custom Solutions: Allows for creative and flexible solutions tailored to the couple's specific needs and circumstances.

• Empowerment: Encourages both parties to articulate their goals and concerns, fostering a sense of control over the process.

Drawbacks:

• Requires Cooperation: Both parties must be willing and able to discuss their concerns openly in front of the group, which may not be comfortable for everyone.

• Potentially More Expensive: Since each party has their own attorney and multiple joint meetings may be required, costs can add up.

• Time-Consuming: Coordinating schedules for all parties can be challenging and may lengthen the process.

3. Traditional Process

Benefits:

• Structured Approach: Follows a more conventional legal route with clear roles for the drafting and reviewing attorneys.

• Independent Representation: Each party has their own attorney to advocate for their interests, which can be reassuring, especially in adversarial situations.

• Predictable Process: This method is well-established and might be more predictable in terms of outcomes and timelines.

Drawbacks:

• Potentially Adversarial: This process can become more confrontational, as each attorney represents only their client's interests.

• Higher Costs: Separate attorneys and possible extended negotiations can increase legal fees.

• Less Collaborative: The focus is more on individual interests rather than finding mutually agreeable solutions.

What are the main topics covered in a Premarital Agreement

When considering a prenuptial agreement, it’s crucial to understand the common topics that need to be addressed. A well-drafted prenup can protect your assets, clarify financial responsibilities, and provide peace of mind for both partners.

1. Assets Before Marriage

• Many individuals worry about how their pre-marital assets, such as investments, stock, retirement accounts, and inheritances, will be treated. A prenup can specify that these assets remain separate property, ensuring they are not subject to division in case of a divorce.

2. Income and Acquisitions During Marriage

• It’s important to outline how income earned and assets acquired during the marriage will be treated. This includes stock grants, retirement contributions, and inheritances received while married. Clear terms can prevent disputes and ensure fair distribution.

3. Handling of Assets and Debt

• A prenup should address how the couple will handle assets and debts acquired during the marriage. This includes decisions on property like homes and cars, as well as liabilities like student loans. Defining these terms can help manage expectations and financial responsibilities.

4. Support During Marriage and After Separation

• Addressing potential income disparity is essential. If one partner stops working, whether due to child-rearing or other reasons, the prenup can include terms for support during marriage and potential alimony after separation. This ensures both parties are protected and supported.

5. Provisions for Death

• A comprehensive prenup will also include terms for what happens in the event of death. This can ensure that property is distributed according to the couple’s wishes, rather than defaulting to state law, which may not align with their desires.

By addressing these key topics in a prenuptial agreement, couples can create a clear, fair, and mutually beneficial financial plan. A thoughtful prenup not only protects individual assets but also fosters open communication and financial transparency in the marriage.

Core Reasons People Seek Prenuptial Agreements

Title: Why Do People Seek Prenuptial Agreements?

Introduction: Prenuptial agreements often carry a stigma, but they serve as an essential tool for many couples. Understanding the core reasons behind seeking a prenup can demystify the process and highlight its benefits.

1. Protection of Pre-marital Assets

• One of the primary reasons individuals seek a prenup is to protect assets they owned before the marriage. This includes family resources, investments, and properties. A prenup ensures that these assets remain with their original owner and are not subject to division upon divorce.

2. Different Financial Views

• Couples often have differing financial philosophies. One partner might be frugal while the other is more relaxed about spending. A prenup can help outline how each person’s financial decisions impact the other, setting clear boundaries and expectations.

3. Ensuring Security and Generosity

• Some individuals come into a marriage with substantial financial security due to inheritance or other factors. They may want their partner to feel secure as well. A prenup can provide that peace of mind, ensuring both parties understand and agree on how finances will be managed.

4. Misunderstandings About the Law

• Many people misunderstand how their state’s laws will treat their assets and income in a divorce. A prenup clarifies these misunderstandings and provides a clear, mutually agreed-upon plan that aligns with the couple’s intentions, rather than default state laws.

Conclusion: Prenuptial agreements are not about mistrust but about clarity and protection. They help couples start their marriage with a clear understanding of their financial landscape, ensuring that both partners feel secure and respected. By addressing these core reasons, couples can enter their marriage with confidence and peace of mind.

Debunking Common Myths About Prenuptial Agreements

Prenuptial agreements are often misunderstood, leading to misconceptions that can deter couples from considering them. It’s time to debunk these myths and understand the true purpose and benefits of a prenup.

1. Prenups Always Mean Someone is Being Cheated

• A prevalent myth is that prenuptial agreements are inherently unfair. In reality, a well-drafted prenup aims to protect both parties, ensuring clear and fair terms that both individuals agree upon before entering marriage.

2. Prenups Can Include Provisions About Infidelity or Bad Behavior

• Many believe that a prenup can dictate behavior during the marriage, such as infidelity clauses. However, prenups primarily focus on financial matters and asset protection, not personal conduct or behavior within the marriage.

3. Prenups Can Include Anything

• Another common misconception is that prenuptial agreements can include any terms the couple wants. While prenups can cover a range of financial matters, they must comply with state laws and cannot include unenforceable terms, such as personal lifestyle clauses.

Conclusion: Understanding what a prenuptial agreement can and cannot do is crucial for making informed decisions. Prenups are not about mistrust; they are about clarity and protection. By debunking these common myths, couples can approach prenups with a clear and accurate perspective, ensuring they utilize this tool effectively.