Options for Addressing Spousal Support in Relationship Agreements

Options for Addressing Spousal Support in Relationship Agreements

Spousal support is often the most emotionally charged and least understood part of a prenuptial or marital agreement. Many couples avoid the topic entirely, only to discover later that silence is still a choice, just one that hands control to the law in effect at the time of divorce.

There are generally three ways couples approach spousal support in relationship agreements. Each comes with different tradeoffs around predictability, flexibility, and risk.

1. Say Nothing and Rely on the Law

One option is to leave spousal support unaddressed. If the relationship ends, support will be determined under the laws of the jurisdiction where the divorce takes place.

This approach can feel simpler up front, but it carries real uncertainty. Spousal support rules vary widely from state to state, and even within the same state, the law can change significantly over time. What feels fair or predictable today may look very different ten or twenty years from now, especially if income, health, or family structure changes.

Choosing silence effectively means opting into an unknown future legal framework.

2. Create Your Own Rules

Many couples prefer to define their own spousal support framework rather than relying on default laws. This does not mean predicting every possible future scenario. It means agreeing on principles and guardrails that reflect shared values and realistic expectations.

Common approaches include tying support to the length of the marriage, with different outcomes for shorter versus longer marriages. Others incorporate specific life events or conditions, such as having children, stepping out of the workforce, disability, or reaching certain asset or income thresholds.

Some agreements place durational limits on support, while others use formulas to create predictability, such as a percentage-based calculation or a split of net spendable income. In some cases, couples agree to a buyout of spousal support. This can work well, but it needs to be structured carefully to avoid enforceability issues, including concerns that one party is financially incentivized to divorce.

The key benefit of this approach is intentionality. The rules are tailored to the couple, rather than imposed later by a court.

3. Complete Waiver of Spousal Support

A third option is a full waiver of spousal support. This is most appropriate where the underlying facts support it and where both parties are comfortable with the risk allocation.

Waivers are often based on existing wealth, such as where both parties have substantial assets, or where each party has independent and comparable financial security. In other cases, a waiver may be appropriate when earning capacities are similar and expected to remain so.

Because courts scrutinize spousal support waivers closely, especially in long-term marriages, the reasoning behind the waiver matters. A well-drafted agreement explains why the waiver is fair at the time it is signed, not just what the waiver says.

Choosing the Right Approach

There is no single right answer. The best spousal support provision is one that matches the couple’s actual financial dynamics, anticipated life paths, and tolerance for uncertainty. What matters most is not avoiding the conversation, but having it thoughtfully and with eyes open to the long-term consequences.

If you want help thinking through which framework aligns with your situation, that conversation often reveals far more about values and expectations than the legal clause itself.

You’re Not Planning to Get Divorced. So Why the Prenup?

Most people who sign prenups aren’t planning to get divorced. Just like people who buy car insurance aren’t planning to crash. Or entrepreneurs who sign partnership agreements aren’t planning to sue each other.

It’s not about pessimism. It’s about realism. And it’s about protecting what matters.

A prenup is not a bet against your relationship. It’s a framework for how you want to handle life’s big “what ifs.”

Think of it like insurance—except you’re the one who sets the terms

Car insurance doesn’t assume you’re a reckless driver. It just says: if something goes wrong, here’s the plan. A prenup works the same way. You’re agreeing ahead of time on what fairness looks like—when things are good, not when you’re under pressure or emotional strain.

Unlike insurance, though, a prenup isn’t a one-size-fits-all policy. You get to define the terms. What’s separate, what’s shared, what support looks like, how to treat startup equity, or how to approach real estate you bought before the marriage.

Or think of it like a business deal—with more love

When two people go into business together, they sign contracts. They define roles, risks, and responsibilities. They clarify ownership. They plan for exits. No one thinks that means they’re secretly hoping to dissolve the company. It means they’re taking it seriously.

Marriage is more than a business, but it’s not less than a financial partnership. You’re joining your lives—including your finances, liabilities, and long-term plans. A prenup helps you have those conversations up front.

Most people don’t regret having a prenup. They regret not having one.

Especially in California, where default community property laws may not match what you thought was “yours,” it’s better to have clear agreements than to rely on assumptions. Once the marriage starts, so does the shared financial picture—and not always in ways that feel intuitive or fair.

You don’t need to plan for divorce. You just need to be honest about your goals, your assets, and how you want to approach uncertainty—together.

That’s what a prenup is for.

Who Should Consider a Prenup?

A prenup isn’t about expecting divorce. It’s about creating clarity, reducing risk, and making sure your values—not just default law—guide your financial future. If any of the following sound familiar, it’s worth having the conversation.

You or your partner has (or expects):

1. Startup equity or stock compensation

You’re a founder, early employee, or someone with RSUs, options, or carry that vests over time.

Example: One partner joins a pre-IPO company. The other has a stable public-sector job. What happens if the equity explodes in value?

2. Family money or inheritances

You’ve received or expect gifts, a trust, or help with a down payment from family.

Example: Your parents gave you $400k for a house. Do they expect it back if you divorce?

3. Major income differences or student debt

One of you earns much more, or is bringing significant debt into the marriage.

Example: You’re a teacher with no loans. Your partner has $250k in student loans and is about to start a BigLaw job.

4. Children from a prior relationship

You want to make sure your financial plans are aligned with long-term care or inheritance for your kids.

Example: You want your separate property to pass to your children, not your new spouse.

5. A business or real estate you want to protect

You own a business, a rental property, or any long-term asset you’ve worked to build.

Example: You own a duplex and collect rent. You want clarity about income and appreciation going forward.

6. Different views on financial roles

You expect one person to stay home with kids, take career risks, or move for the other’s job.

Example: You’re moving across the country to support your partner’s career. Will you be compensated if you leave your job?

7. A desire to talk through expectations clearly

You both want to define your own version of fairness—before life gets more complicated.

Example: You agree now that equity earned at a job should stay separate—but want to talk through refresh grants or cashing out during the marriage.

Spousal Support in Premarital Agreements

Spousal support is one of the hardest conversations to have when negotiating a premarital agreement. It’s personal, financial, and touches every fear people have about what could go wrong in the future. But it’s also where a prenup can provide the most clarity and protection for both partners if you do it right.

Here’s how I help clients think through the spousal support provisions in a California prenup, and what kinds of choices are actually enforceable. 

Without a prenup, California gives courts broad discretion to award spousal support based on a long list of factors (see Family Code §4320). That means there is no certainty about outcome, just a lot of room for legal fees and emotional conflict if you break up.

With a prenup, you can replace that uncertainty with a clear agreement that reflects your values, your career paths, and your definition of fairness. That might mean waiving support entirely, building in specific safety nets, or capping obligations with formulas and dollar limits. The right structure is the one that matches your goals and avoids surprises later.

What You Can’t Do

California will not enforce infidelity clauses or lifestyle penalties. You cannot tie spousal support to whether someone cheated. These clauses violate no-fault divorce rules and could put your entire agreement at risk. Skip them.

Three Ways to Structure Spousal Support

 1. Complete Waiver

No spousal support now or later. Each person walks away with only what they are entitled to under the property terms.

Caveats:

These provisions face the most scrutiny in court. Your agreement must be drafted cleanly with independent counsel and full financial disclosure.  

2. Conditional Support

This creates safety nets only in specific situations.

·      Minimum marriage length: No support unless the marriage lasted a certain number of years.

·      Family care exception: If one person stops working for several years to raise kids, support becomes available.

·      Disability clause: Support is allowed if a spouse becomes significantly disabled.

·      Income disparity test: Support kicks in if one party earns more than 2 or 3 times the other’s income.

·      Net worth clause: No support if the requesting spouse has more than a certain amount in separate property at the time of divorce.

This is a flexible, modular structure. It works well for couples who generally want independence but understand that life happens.

3. Limited Support with Specific Caps

 This structure acknowledges that support might be appropriate but limits the risk.

Common tools:

• Time limits: For example, support may be capped at 2 years or half the length of the marriage.

• Dollar caps: For example, support may never exceed $5,000 per month.

• Formulas: California’s common formula is 40% of the higher earner’s net income minus 50% of the lower earner’s net income, multiplied by 0.85.

• Formula plus cap: This is the most common structure I use. It calculates support using the formula but limits the monthly amount to a defined maximum, like $8,000.

• Real-world metric: Instead of a flat cap, some clients tie the limit to something like the average rent for a one-bedroom in the separation location. It adjusts with cost of living automatically.

Key Extras to Think About

Immigration sponsorship: If one spouse sponsors the other for a green card, federal law may override the prenup. You can’t waive the federal support requirement. Your agreement should have a clause acknowledging that federal obligation and limiting state support to that amount. 

Inflation: If you use a fixed cap or dollar amount, you’ll want to tie it to the Consumer Price Index or another inflation adjustment.

When support ends: Support usually terminates at remarriage, death, or cohabitation. Your agreement can define cohabitation more precisely if needed.

California applies special scrutiny to spousal support waivers. Even if the agreement is properly executed, a judge can later throw it out if enforcement would be “unconscionable” at the time of divorce. Here’s what protects you:

·      Independent counsel for both parties.

·      Full financial disclosure.

·      Time to review the agreement before signing.

·      Strong challenge deterrent clauses, such as requiring one party to pay the other’s legal fees up front if they contest the terms.

Can I Protect My Business If I Start It During Marriage?

Short answer: Yes, but not automatically.

In California, anything acquired during marriage, including a business, is generally presumed to be community property. That means your spouse could be entitled to a share of its value in a divorce, even if they never worked in the business or contributed directly.

If you want to protect a business you are starting or growing during marriage, you need to take specific legal steps. Here’s how it works.

What Happens by Default in California?

California is a community property state. Without a written agreement to the contrary, most assets and income acquired during marriage are considered jointly owned. That includes:

• Business revenue and profits

• Appreciation in value, even if funded with separate property

• Brand goodwill and intellectual property

• Any asset built with effort during the marriage

If you divorce, the court may divide the business value 50/50 unless you have opted out of the default rules in writing.

How Do I Keep a Business Separate?

To maintain a business as separate property, you and your spouse must agree in writing. The three main options are:

1. Prenuptial Agreement

A prenup signed before marriage can state that any future business or business growth will remain your separate property.

2. Postnuptial Agreement

If you’re already married, a postnup can accomplish the same thing. These agreements are enforceable but face more scrutiny, so both parties will need to make full financial disclosures and have independent legal counsel.

3. Transmutation Agreement

This is a post-marital contract that changes the legal character of an asset. It only works if it meets the specific requirements of California Family Code Section 852.

Without one of these agreements, your business may be subject to division under California’s default rules.

What If I Use Separate Funds to Start the Business?

If you use premarital savings or a gift from your family to fund the startup, you may be entitled to reimbursement under Family Code Section 2640. But reimbursement only applies to your original investment. It does not protect the business’s income or appreciation. Without a written agreement, any growth is still likely to be treated as community property.

What If My Spouse Helps with the Business?

Even informal help from a spouse, such as administrative support, advice, or simply covering household expenses while you build, can strengthen their claim to a share of the business.

California courts often use formulas like Van Camp and Pereira to divide business value when there is both separate and community involvement. These cases can be expensive to litigate and difficult to predict

The Bottom Line

If you’re starting a business during marriage, do not assume it is protected just because it is in your name or funded with separate money.

A written agreement is the only reliable way to protect your interest and set clear expectations around income, risk, and ownership.

Want to talk through your options?

If you’re building a business and want clarity around how to protect it, I can help. I draft agreements that reflect the realities of your life and the nuances of California law.